I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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