I feel like I'm in dance class right now
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
