Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
