Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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