So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
