in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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