You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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