It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize