it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
two words...techno handjob
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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