So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
