i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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