God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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