Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
