Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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