THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
