K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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