Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
