I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize