Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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