'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
