you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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