So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
