By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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