happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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