My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
