Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize