That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
