To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize