Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize