HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
