the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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