38 yer olds are good kisserssss
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
