Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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