i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
