The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize