why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
