We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize