Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
