Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
