it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
ok first of all what the fuck
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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