when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
