i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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