Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize