It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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