She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
