yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
