And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
