You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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