you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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