that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
