This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
