i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
