She announced her abortion via fbk
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Boobs speak an international language.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize