ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
