My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
