This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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