Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
