operation have a gay friend backfired
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
