garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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